I’m not supermum, I honestly don’t have it in me to try to be either. Those tights I envision supermum wearing would most definitely cause some thigh chafing action, and the cape would most definitely be used by my kids as some sort of mummy leash.
I’m totally realistic. With baby number 2 came the realisation that every mothering book in my cupboard could be used as arts and crafts supplies. No picture in any of those books (who on earth has time to read the words?) related to what was currently happening in my living room. Nothing was THAT ideal. Neverthless I spent every evening and every weekend filling their day with activities, trips and experiences in an attempt to make up for being a working mum. I created the ideal, despite knowing it was impossible to maintain.
Now I must stop for a second to say that I love my kids…I ADORE them. Every word and every little wiggle is enjoyed and relished. I love the laughter that rings through my house and the amazement they have with a new occurrence. I especially love the kisses and hugs and just hearing the word “mummy” from those sweet lips. But I am also exhausted by my own expectations of me. Lately I have found myself wishing I had a few moments to just be me, especially when the word “mummy is being used as a weapon by those sweet lips….sigh!
In these moments of mummy weakness I have been known to resort to the unthinkable. I’m going to ask you to sit down now because what I am about to say will anger some and frustrate others. It might knock you right off your feet so please hold onto something. In these moments, this mother of 2, this wellness counsellor and learning specialist has been known to scream out the “M” and “F” words. Occasionally I admit I have said them together. Yes, I am a little ashamed and no, I cannot promise it will not happen again. I try not to, I try to keep it in but every now and then I scream it at the top of my lungs!!!
My 6 year old instantly stops what she is doing and settles down, her large brown eyes studying me carefully. My 18 month old instantly knows something is about to happen and plomps himself next to his sister. They stare at me in disbelief until the 6-going on 16- year old quietly whispers, “Really mum, movie time AND fast food??”
I nod silently as she asks politely if she can choose the movie, and I dial in their food order. I put on the kettle and make myself a cup of tea and sip while staring at them – quietly entertaining themselves – quietly!!!
The mummy guilt can wait….for now there is a little time to just breathe!
So, to all you busy mummy out there without the support structure of that extended family, it’s ok to be human. A few movies and fast food doesn’t make you a bad mum. Just breathe….And feel free to use the M and F word when you need to.